More on your photographic voice and vision

Contest season is upon us again so I’ve been spending my free time looking at what I did or didn’t do this past year.

It’s interesting to look at a body of work and see a noticeable shift from my work in years past. For my older work it was the norm for everything to be black and white. In fact I think my contest entries one year were all black and white. Today it’s rare, with the exception of my Unknown project, that I’ll photograph something and see it as a black and white photo.

Looking back on the year it also becomes easy to see phases where I worked hard and other times where I was lazy. Leaving the comfort of my own home seems to be the biggest obstacle for me at times. At times I still find myself holding back and let my head overpower me into taking action. “You’ll never get access.” or “That’s a stupid idea. Why waste your time?” Are a few of the voices that pollute my head and keep me from taking action.

I still fear failure more than I should. I need to be pushing towards it even more. Safe and conservative photos do nothing to better me as a photographer and dumb down things for everyone involved.

I still put far too much weight into what others think of my work. I need to have that FU moment that Doug Menuez wrote about in his great article ON CHAOS, FEAR, SURVIVAL & LUCK: LONGEVITY IS THE ANSWER

Sure it’s great to get the atta boy every now and then, but we’ll never be happy with our photos if we’re only out to please others.

Nothing new for you all, but for me it’s taken years to work up the confidence to be comfortable in my skin. That means being comfortable with the way Tim Gruber sees and fine with making photos, that at times, only speak to me.

I am slowly growing more comfortable with the kind of photographer I want to be. Just a few years ago I was stressing over having a traditional picture story that would of made Eugene Smith proud. Today I know I’ll never be Eugene Smith. I tried and it wasn’t and isn’t who I am as a photographer or a person.

You can spend your career forcing yourself to be something you’re not or you can nurture the person you are and grow.

MN after the storm

I close my eyes and see the black, I open them again and I see the world, I’ve hidden from fears, and that knife sears, so welcome back to the world. Don’t close your eyes or you will miss the storm, and you will miss what follows after, the beauty. – Unknown